With the desire to start slowing down our lives and with an ever-growing culture to revoke traditional outlooks there has been a craving for familiarity that stems from a romantisised time. No matter how much hardship has been endured in the past most will look back in time with rose-coloured glasses. There is something more idyllic that the past gives us, it might be from how period pieces portray the time, or the stories our elders tell us, but what gives it its charm is that it is “not as complicated as today’s world”.
There has been a resurgence in the romantisisation of the 1950’s housewife or the modern stay-at-home girlfriend. The simple life of waking up in the morning to make breakfast from scratch for your lover, get dressed all beautifully, clean your home, and spend the day working on your hobbies that enrich your life. We have lost a sense of self when we branded hobbies as worthless in our adult life. Spending time performing an art that brings you joy, no matter how skilled you find yourself to be, is a triumphant effort regardless. The woman in this fortunate position is graced with the opportunity to enroll in any pastime of her fancy without the worry of its value-adding to her lifestyle.
We are so trapped in the rat race of ‘living to work’ instead of ‘working to live’ that the concept of an individual staying at home and not working appears to be ‘lazy’ or ‘ineffective’ with their lifestyle. This simply is not the case, being in charge of maintaining a home, cooking from scratch so you know what you are eating, and for some to look after their kids is a full day in itself. There is no need to demonise wanting a moment to take time for oneself in a world that feeds off of multitaskers and workaholics.
There has been a trend circulating the internet of men banding together with the core concept of dismissing ‘looking after a woman’ because they are ‘too expensive and emotionally taxing’. So they dream about moving in with another man (to maintain a 2 income household) and then hiring out all the help that a woman of the house would have performed.
Here is a breakdown of the costs…
Having a maid/helper in South Africa:
R27.97 per hour (minimum wage) – one would usually have someone come in twice a week from 9 till 5 (8 hours) which is:
R27.97 x 8 = R223.76 per day
R223.76 x 2 = R447.52 per week
447.52 x 52 = R23 271.04 per year
Having an escort in South Africa, they can charge you up to R1500 per session or more. If you want one twice a week then you can end up paying R156 000 per year.
If you have children and you want to be child-free once a week it costs R350 per hour for a babysitter through an agency that has been vetted and trained. Which could cost you R18 200 per year for childcare.
And we all know that eating out for the majority of our meals can burn a bug hole in our wallets. Business Tech said “There is obviously a lot of variation, but households in the highest income brackets are likely to spend between R1,400 and R1,500 per month on takeaways. A typical family within those brackets will visit roughly twice a week and spend just over R200 each time.” On average a household spends R16 800 on takeout in South Africa.
Think of all these calculations before you diminish a woman’s role in the home and say you can replace her with paying help.
Then on the other side of the pendulum, we have the Passport Bro’s which Urban Dictionary describes as,
“The “Passport Bros” are men who have chosen to seek out foreign women, typically from other countries, for relationships. They believe that western women have been influenced by cultural and societal pressures to behave in a certain way, and that by seeking out foreign women, they can find a more authentic, fulfilling, and harmonious relationship. This is seen as a way to restore the natural balance between masculine and feminine energy, and to avoid the “wickedness” of western women.”
With the encouragement of hyper independence in the West that focuses on chasing money and a career. Men have been driven to ‘take their passports’ to countries that cultivate more traditional roles in women to find a harmonious balance in their partners. To fulfill a man’s fullness in their masculinity they need a complimentary partner that will embody the feminine as their counterbalance.
I think it is really important to realise how far we have come in women’s rights. And even though countless women had fought for a certain standard of living, it does not mean that all women have to fit that mold. Being able to express individuality is the most prominent thing about being human.